It's Snarkurday!

Charlie Sheen is suing the Enquirer over their story that, on the set of 1986’s Lucas, then-19-year-old Charlie Sheen raped then-13-year-old Corey Haim.

It all broke when former actor Dominick Brascia told the Enquirer that Sheen was the predator hinted at in a Radar story that ran In September. Dominick—who has also been accused of molesting Haim—says Corey claimed Sheen coerced him into smoking weed and having anal sex. The Enquirer also claims that various “sources” told them that Corey wasn’t Charlie’s only alleged victim, and that Sheen inspired Corey’s subsequent drug abuse, which led to his early death at 38.

And so naturally, Charlie Sheen is the Enquirer and releasing this statement:

“In my nearly 35 years as a celebrated entertainer, I have been nothing shy of a forthright, noble and valiant courier of the truth. Consistently admitting and owning a laundry list of shortcomings, wrongdoings and indiscretions this traveler hath traveled — however, every man has a breaking point. … “These radically groundless and unfounded allegations end now. I now take a passionate stand against those who wish to even entertain the sick and twisted lies against me. GAME OVER.”

Sheen is suing the Enquirer, Enquirer executive Dylan Howard, and Dominick Brascia for “defamation and false light” and claiming that Dylan only published the story because the Enquirer couldn’t break the story that Sheen is HIV+.

It’s all icky; Sheen ALLEGEDLY raping Haim; other boys molesting Haim; Sheen’s pronouncement of how honorable a man he is.

Yeah, I think that’s the most insane part of the story.

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I wasn’t so surprised to see Dustin Hoffman “outed” as a sexual predator, groper, abuser. I’d read a story about how he treated Meryl Streep on the set of Kramer v Kramer and he’s a pig. But I was surprised, somewhat, at many women he abused physically, verbally and emotionally over the years, and how many women’s careers and lives were nearly ruined because of it.

Cases in point: Anna Graham Hunter was seventeen when she worked with Hoffman in 1985 and says Hoffman harassed her and assaulted her on a daily basis. And, in 1991, he did the same thing with playwright Wendy Riss Gatsiounis.

Last week, when John Oliver simply asked Hoffman for an explanation regarding what these women, and others, have said, Hoffman got pissy, defensive and claimed he’d never met Anna Graham Hunter.  And then he used his role in Tootsie as the reason he could never be a pig because he played the character onscreen and loves women and would never!

And yet now others have come forward, like Kathryn Rossetter, who costarred with Hoffman in Death of a Salesman on Broadway and on TV, who says she auditioned for Death of a Salesman because she admired Hoffman as an actor and was thrilled that he pushed for her to get the part. But, when rehearsals began, Hoffman got her into his hotel room and demanded a back rub; she says she gave him a “lame” back rub that ended when the maid interrupted them. When the play began, however, the harassment and assault intensified:

“Since they loved my laugh, it was decided that I would stand in the wings … and laugh on cue in a memory scene. … That scene led directly into the scene in the second act with Dustin and me in the hotel room and Biff walking in on us. My costume was a vintage slip, no bra, garter belt and stockings. The wing space was limited, so directly behind me was a chair where Dustin would sit … One night in Chicago, I felt his hand up under my slip on the inside of my thighs. I was completely surprised and tried to bat him away while watching the stage for my cues. After the show he was busy with the producer and director so I had no access to him to address it. It then happened almost every show. Six to eight shows a week … One night he actually started to stick his fingers inside me. … I withdrew and got depressed … How could the same man who fought to get me the job, who complimented my work, who essentially launched my career, who gave me the benefit of his wisdom as an actor, how could he also be this sexual power abuser?”

Perhaps because he felt a sense of ownership over a woman because he “helped’ or maybe it’s just because he’s a pig; at any rate …

“The groping continued. After the shows at parties, whenever he had a picture taken with me, he would put his arm around my rib cage and then grab my breast just before they snapped the picture and then remove it. He was very skilled at dropping his hand just as the picture snapped to avoid it being recorded. … Only by luck do I have one such picture — where the camera caught him in the act. A picture I had taken with hopes of sending it to my family. A millisecond in time. There I am — big smile and my arm moving toward his with the intention to push it away. But caught as it is, it seems I’m complicit with the gesture. I was not. Not ever.”

Rossetter says one night Hoffman told crew members he was going to assault her and they all gathered backstage to watch him pull down her slip and reveal her breasts.

Pig. But there may be revenge, in a way that would hurt an ego like Tiny Dustin the most; he has a new film coming out and there was … was … talk of an Oscar nomination. Maybe this story will stop that.

Again. Pig.

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More pig? Mario Batali.

It seems that Batali is “stepping away” from his empire, as well as ABC’s The Chew, on the heels of several allegations of sexual misconduct.

Four women have accused Batali of sexual harassment and assault spanning nearly 20 years; a female chef ALLEGES that a drunk Batali offered her a job, then groped her breasts; two other his female former employees have accused him of grabbing and groping them,; a third woman says he groped her breasts at a party.

Batali didn’t deny the allegations, but said:

“I apologize to the people I have mistreated and hurt. Although the identities of most of the individuals mentioned in these stories have not been revealed to me, much of the behavior described does, in fact, match up with ways I have acted. That behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry for any pain, humiliation or discomfort I have caused to my peers, employees, customers, friends and family.”

Apparently, he’s desperate to save his “empire,” which may be difficult as more stories come out.

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Hannibal Buress made his mark in Miami last week, but not the way he would have liked, I’m guessing.

Buress, ALLEGEDLY red-eyed and booze-scented, was leaving an Art Basel event and asked a police officer to call him an Uber. When the cop refused, Buress ALLEGEDLY got “angry and belligerent”—and, perhaps, a little “Don’t you know who I am?”—but walked back inside the venue with the officer following.

The officer thought Buress too drunk to be inside, so he asked him several times to leave; finally, after Buress stepped outside the officer again told him … five times … to leave the area five times, and he declined, and began shrieking profanities, and was arrested.

A witness filmed his arrest, and Hannibal did not go peacefully; he demanded to know what he was being arrested for… um, smell your breath …and when he was told he was being collared for trespassing, he didn’t take kindly to that reason. So, the officers put his drunk ass in the car and added disorderly intoxication to the trespassing charge.

I really wanted to hear him say “Don’t you know who I am?’ So someone, anyone, might respond, “Tracey Morgan? Kevin Hart? My waiter at Carrabas?”

Then Buress would really go off. Still, he had his mugshot taken at Glamour Shots, or so it seems.

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So, Kevin Spacey. Before all the groping of young boys became news to everyone, Spacey was cast in a showy role in All The Money In The World.

But when the sexually assaulted boys began talking, Ridley Scoot, the director of the film, which was finished at the time, decided to spend $10 million reshooting all of Spacey’s scenes with Christopher Plummer taking over. Even other actors in the scenes, like Michelle Williams and Mark Wahlberg came back to the movie to film with Plummer, and this week … thanks to Karma … Christopher Plummer was nominated for a Golden globe for his part in the film.

Clearly, since the film won’t come out until Christmas Day, who else besides Scott and some editors saw Plummer’s performance? I mean, is he so great that he gets a nod for a film no one has seen, or is it clap-back at Spacey.

Yeah, clap-back.

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What’s the newest, bestest, fastest way to improve ratings for a morning show?

Maybe having one of your cohosts fired for being handsy.

Yup, NBC’s Today Show is riding a ratings tidal wave since Matt Lauer was canned for being a pervert an is even outperforming Good Morning America.

How long until ABC gets a scandal of its own? I wonder, because after Charlie Rose’s sexual assault allegations, the rating for CBS This Morning are still in the tank, so maybe it’s not the story but the fact that Matt Lauer’s smug face is off TV.

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I loved that they’ve rebooted Will & Grace this year, and I am mildly interested in the upcoming reboot of Roseanne, but there are some shows that, well, should never have appeared on a TV screen in the first place.

Blossom.

Blossom ran for five seasons on NBC and focused on the title character, a flowery hat wearing Blossom Russo, played by Mayim Bialik and her Dad, Ted Wass, and brothers Tony, Michael Stoyanov, and Joey, played by Joey Lawrence. And it’s Lawrence who’s been pushing for a reboot of the show, saying:

“There’s been serious talk about [a revival], believe it or not. Mayim and I have both said we’d be into it. We’ve talked to Don Reo about it, who created it. If there’s a way in, then I think we’re all down for it.”

Sure, Joey wants a Blossom reunion because what else is he doing? I mean, Mayim is appearing on a real hit show, Big Bang Theory and so does anyone think she’d give up that job for a second shot at Blossom?

The long and short answers are both ‘No.’

 Sorry Joey, take a seat.

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