Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bugged



Comb-overs bug me.
I saw a man in a restaurant the other day who had taken his hair from just above one ear and combed it all the way over to the other ear. Does no one say to this man, You're bald! Step away from the comb! I mean, this man has to shower, right? And he gets out of the shower and the hair on one side of his head falls down to his shoulder, and he thinks nothing of it?
You're BALD!

______________________________________________


People who are on their cell phones constantly....or texting. I'm a bit old school in this regard. I have a cell phone that stays in my car and is used only in case of emergency. If you need to talk to me, call my house. If I don't answer, leave a message. If I don't call back, well, maybe you aren't so special to me anymore.
And what about the texting every two seconds? Where you write to your friends to tell them about the minutiae of your day?
I'm just getting to work. Send.I'm in the building. Send.I'm at my desk. Send.
I have a turkey sandwich for lunch. Send.
I have no life so I text all day. Send.

____________________________________


People who tell me that they aren't judging me for being gay, and then tell me I'm probably going to hell. Uh, that's a judgement! I usually tell them that if it's the homo's going to hell, you know it'll be one fabulous party.

____________________________________


Gas prices that go up, or down, on a day-to-day basis. I drive by the same station to and from work every day. One day gas was $1.52 a gallon; then a few hours later it had fallen to $1.48. But isn't the gas that was delivered to the station a day or so prior still in the underground tank? So, why is it cheaper? More importantly, why is it suddenly more expensive? I mean, the station has paid one price for the gas they receive, and yet it goes up and down and up. No sense.
____________________________________


I heard a politician from New York--I didn't get his name because I was eating my Shredded Wheat in the kitchen and the TV is in the other room--talking about Caroline Kennedy seeking to fill Hillary Clinton's Senate seat. Now, I'm not some well-educated politician from up there in New York, but I do know that Caroline Kennedy went to Harvard, got a law degree from Columbia, and has done all sorts of work regarding education and literacy in her home state. But this nimrod politician said all he knows of Caroline Kennedy is that she has "name recognition just like JLo."
JLo?
Caroline Kennedy.
JLo.
Pffffffft. Politicians. And they wonder while they're the butt of so many jokes.
____________________________________


Tom Cruise and his Apology Tour.
His royal Shortness is making the rounds to clear up the confusion about his insane ranting against Matt Lauer; he sort of apologizes for the things he said; he says he was misunderstood--like he doesn't know about the Internet and YouTube, which replays his crazy 24/7?
Tom? You're career is just about over. Seriously. Put Katie to work and start pimping out your little girl, and maybe, one day, we'll remember for being more than an Underwear-wearing-couch-jumping-proselytizing-homophobe-with-a-modicum-of-talent.

3 comments:

  1. Oh boy, can I ever identify with these beefs. Good for you for putting them out there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks.

    As I always say, I does what I can!

    ReplyDelete
  3. these are fun....ain't bitchin a blast?
    -charlie

    ReplyDelete

Say anything, but keep it civil .......