Saturday, March 17, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

Last week we learned that police were called by Dean McDermott to deal with a mental health situation involving his wife, Tori Spelling.  Tori had ALLEGEDLY been acting very aggressively—which some sources blame on her current situation as a stressed-the-hell-out mother of 5 with tons of unpaid bills … something she chose to do, remember.

And now this … shortly after Tori left for a doctor’s appointment with at least one of their kids, Dean called the police and asked them to check up on her; yes, because the police are paid to check up on Tori Spelling. But then Dean showed up at the office and was seen outside holding their son Beau while police spoke to Tori inside. The deputies ALLEGEDLY determined that Tori and her kids were okay, and since no crime had been committed, they left.

California tax dollars at work, checking on the spoiled wife of a has-been actor, who kept getting herself knocked up even though she and her husband have no real means of income other than selling their lives to reality TV.
When all those ALLEGATIONS of being a giant perv were leveled at Bill Cosby, a lot of folks who know Cosby stayed silent; sure, Phylicia Rashad said Cosby was a sweetheart, and Rudy Huxtable, Keshia Knight Pulliam, stood up for TV daddy. But the rest of the ‘family’ stayed silent … until now.

It began when Zoe Kravitz, daughter of Lisa “Denise Huxtable” Bonet, claimed her mother was “disgusted and concerned” about the ALLEGATIONS, and now Lisa is talking for herself.

Bonet was asked during a recent interview if the ALLEGATIONS tainted her memories of her days on The Cosby Show and she said:
“No, it’s exactly as I remember it.
She was then asked if she had any sense that Bill was creeping on women and she said:
“There was no knowledge on my part about his specific actions, but … there was just energy. And that type of sinister, shadow energy cannot be concealed … And if I had anything more to reveal then it would have happened a long time ago. That’s my nature. The truth will set you free.”
To be fair, Cosby and Bonet have always had a rough relationship; she was fired in 1991 from The Cosby Show due to “creative differences” and some are suggesting that this is her way of getting back at him; she disagrees:
“I don’t need to say, ‘I told you so.’ I just leave all that to karma and justice and what will be.”
I’m kinda hoping justice is more tangible…like dollars and cents to his victims and maybe some jail time because, sorry, fifty women can’t all be lying.
There was a story last week that former Lois and Clark and Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher was homeless and living in a van.

True? Doubtful; but the rumors started when Hatcher put her Studio City house up for rent and began filming a web series called Van Therapy for her YouTube channel, Hatching Change where she invites random people into her van and gives them advice.

I guess it’s easy to make the leap? At least it was for Star magazine, but then Hatcher spoke to KTLA 5’s Sam Rubin from London, where she and her van are currently located, and said Star reached out to her publicist to inform them that they had pictures of Teri in her van at the beach and planned to run a story about her being homeless. The publicist assured them they were wrong, but Star went ahead and ran the story anyway.

Look, it might look like she’s homeless, but how many homeless people have a mansion they rent out? How many homeless people have the coins to have a van shipped to London so they can make YouTube videos?

Just sayin’.
It’s not fun when your spouse cheats and you’re a famous actor, like, say, Colin Firth, and it’s not fun when the man your wife cheated with, is some kind of stalker.

Firth’s wife, Livia Giuggioli, has admitted to an affair with an old friend Marco Brancaccia for well over a year but says when the affair ended he began harassing her with “frightening” messages. Brancaccia is now being investigated by police in Rome.

This mess began back in 2015 when the Firths decided to separate, and Livia began seeing Marco; then the Firths decided to reunite and Brancaccia did not take kindly to the news. According to Spanish newspaper El País, Brancaccia ALLEGEDLY sent naked photos of Giuggioli to Firth and told her:
“If you end our relationship I will ruin your life.”
Brancaccia denies being a stalker, saying:
“We were romantically involved, she wanted to leave Colin for me … My ‘stalking’ consisted of two messages via WhatsApp after she ended our relationship in June 2016, and an e-mail. I wrote an e-mail to Colin about my relationship with Livia, which I now regret sending, and she filed a complaint against me for stalking out of fear that I could go public with what she had revealed to me about her marriage. In a year she sent me hundreds of messages of love, photos and videos, even a diary.”
I’ve a feeling we’ll soon be treated to Livia’s nudie pics and the reports of what she said about Firth during her year-long Ross-and-Rachel moment.
Last year, as the #MeToo movement gathered steam, actor Terry Crews told a story of being groped by Adam Venit, a man who worked for Crews’ talent agency; at the time, Crews said he would follow up with charges against Venit.

Well, that criminal case against Venit has been rejected by both the Los Angeles City Attorney and the Los Angeles County District Attorney because, and this is where the law gets weird, the assault was deemed not to be a felony because it took place over the clothing and Venit had not restrained Terry.

I guess in order to commit felony groping you have to hold the man down and reach into, or under, his clothing. Good to know.
Speaking of the #MeToo movement, last fall Kristina Cohen claimed that actor Ed Westwick raped her in his home when she went there with her then-boyfriend, Kaine Harling, for dinner in 2014. She says she grew tired during the meal—a meal in which Westwick suggested that they all have sex—and went to take a nap in a guest room. She was awakened by Westwick assaulting her and raping her.

A few days later, a second woman named Aurélie Wynn told her story about Westwick, claiming she was at his home for a party, became “mysteriously” tired, went to a guest room to lie down and was awakened by Westwick raping her.

Another week went by and a third woman, Rachel Eck, came forward. Eck was dating a producer, Cohen’s former boyfriend, Kaine Harling, and he invited her to a party at a hotel with just her, Kaine and Ed Westwick present. She repeatedly tried to leave, but Westwick kept grabbing her and trying to kiss her and touch her; no word on whether anything more happened.

After those ALLEGATIONS, Westwick’s TV projects were put on hold indefinitely and he issued a series of denials and now this … Westwick is at the center of a lawsuit—though not as a defendant—filed by Haley Camille Freedman who claims he held her hostage as a sex slave for 48 hours.

Freedman says she went to Westwick’s home with a group of people and stayed after everyone else left. She says she and Westwick began having sex, and he asked her to strangle him, slap him and spit on him; when she refused, he did those things to her. She claims she then fell asleep, and the next morning, while showering, Westwick became sexual with her again, against her will. She says she was “out of it” and stayed there for two days because she didn’t know where she was and didn’t have cell service.

But, Freedman is not suing Westwick; she is suing her former business partners whom she says cut her off because she wanted to go public with the allegations.

So, she claims a man held her prisoner, raped her repeatedly, and she wants to sue the people who told her to say nothing?

Um, okay … Look, the other stories about Westwick have the same kinds of ALLEGATIONS and those women aren’t looking for coins, just validation. This last woman, who suggests Westwick terrorized her, wants cash from everyone but Westwick.

Last fall, the LAPD opened at least one investigation into Westwick’s behavior so maybe there will be justice for some of these women.
Meanwhile, back at Tori and Dean … on Friday night, Tori and Dean took their brood dinner at the Black Bear Diner in Tarzana.

Suddenly, several LAPD officers approached their table to talk to Dean, who was on his phone talking to someone, after watching the couple engage in “serious conversation” i.e. fighting. And so, the police remove the McDermott’s and their kids from the restaurant.

At home, Tori took to Instagram to say:
“I’m strong, I’m amazing, I’m beautiful, I’m wonderful, I’m worthy, I’m loved, I’m brave, I’m sweet, I’m happy, I’m me.”
Nothing to see there, but … there is a video of Tori and Dean being removed from the restaurant and Tori looks mighty pissed off.

I said it before, all this new drama might be just a press junket for their new realty show, Tori and Dean: Losers.
Two weeks ago, an ALLEGEDLY drunk Heather Locklear was arrested for attacking police officers who’d been called to her home because she was ALLEGEDLY beating up her boyfriend, Chris Heisser. And now she’s going to court over her brutality against the police, charged with four counts of misdemeanor battery on an officer. Heather was originally arrested for hitting Heisser, but she won’t be charged for that attack. On top of threatening to shoot police officers if they returned to her house, Heather ALLEGEDLY shrieked at them:
“You fuckers deserve your kids to die, you fuckers deserve it.”
Heather then ALLEGEDLY told them she hopes no one burns their police department down.

Gosh, she’s a fun drunk.

Heather is in rehab right now hoping against hope the police and the District Attorney will take pity on a woman who gets drunk, betas up her boyfriend, attacks police officer, threatened them with a gun, threatened their children and threatened to start a fire.

Good luck with that, girl.

Sidenote: I will never tire of a heather Locklear mugshot.
Gird your loins … Madonna’s making another movie.

I guess all those bombs have yet to convince her she can’t act or write or direct, and now MGM—who must have money to burn—has selected Madge to direct Taking Flight, a movie about Michaela DePrince, an orphan from Sierra Leone who became a world-class ballerina. But before that happened, Michaela’s father was killed during a civil war, and her mother died of fever a week later; her three brothers also died, and her uncle sent her to live in an orphanage.

Wow. It’s a comedy? But the story gets better … Michaela is adopted by an American family who encouraged her to pursue ballet. She went on to graduate from the American Ballet Theatre, make her debut at age 17 at a ballet in South Africa, appearing in Beyoncé’Lemonade, and becoming a soloist at the Dutch National Ballet.

Of course, Madonna says she sees herself in Michaela:
“Michaela’s journey resonated with me deeply as both an artist and an activist who understands adversity ... I am honored to bring her story to life.”
The last film Madonna directed was W.E., about Wallis Simpson, that was a high-class disaster; then there was Swept Away, The Next Best thing, Evita, Dangerous Games, Body of Evidence, Desperately Seeking Susan, A League of Their Own, Dick Tracy … she has clearly proven that she cannot act or direct and yet here she comes again.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be an ugly film.
Are we tired yet of hearing about celebrities and the way they spend their money? I am looking at you, Babs, and your two cloned dogs.

But, not to be outdone … Oprah. Winfrey was on The Late Late Show this week and shared that she’s just your average girl who loves a bath. But this is Oprah and you just know it’s not an ordinary bath, but a bath in a tub hand-carved out of marble and onyx to fit to the shape of Oprah’s body. 

Cue world-wide onyx and marble shortage.

The only thing bigger than Oprah’s ass is her head.

Friday, March 16, 2018

PR All-St★rs 6 Ep10: ♪ ♫ I've Got The Music In Me ♫♪

All right, this is gonna be quick because I have a bedroom to paint … I am so over sharing a queen-sized bed with Carlos and three cats.

Here’s the deal …the designtestants meet Alyssa at the Hard Rock Café in Times Square and pick random numbers off the jukebox to tell them what musical genre they get. And when they get that genre, they must create a performance outfit for that style. They have $250 and one day, but the winner gets a vacation at the Hard Rock Hotel in Cancun, and the chance to create a new Hard Rock t-shirt to be sold at ‘select’ Hard Rock Cafes somewhere.

It’s all about the music, so let’s dish …
Anthony goes for the big bold look, with lace and sheers and fringe, in blues and lacks. He’s calling his look a festive glam kimono. On runway day, when Ken sees Anthony’s finished look, he’s stunned, and wonders where it suddenly came from.

On the other hand, Ken is going for a sheer white jumpsuit, with strategically placed pieces of fabric to hide the model’s bits and pieces. He’ll also create a full-length cream-colored coat. When Helen critiques Ken’s look, saying the crotch seemed off, he shut her down with an “I know! “Helen whined about “attitudes” in the workroom, when she’s been the biggest attitude all season long…well, perhaps tied with Joshua. Anthony notes that he and Ken used to compare notes on their looks, but once “they said face-off … that bitch turned into a gargoyle.” But when he sees the look, he says:
“Ken’s fabric is absolutely stunning … I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with this whole coat moment … and the adult diaper effect.”
Rebecca Minkoff worries that Anthony’s kimono might be too tight to move in, and she encourages him to test it out. For a hot minute I thought we were going to get Anthony in a glitzy kimono prancing around the room. Rebecca loves Ken’s idea of the sheer jumpsuit but warns that it might take time to do the correct coverage.

My girl looks amazing. She looks like she’s about to shake up the building.

It is pop Vegas showgirl, though when Ken sees it walk, he says, “Dayum!”

I love my look. The color. The cut. The overall look slays.

I’m getting bathrobe from the coat, like something the pop star would wear as a cool down after the show.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the color and the sheer sleeves; it says, “pop star.” As for Ken, she loves the cream color, and the sheer jumpsuit, and the draped coat.

Isaac noted that the front of Anthony’s look read “showgirl” while the back, with the peek-a-boo panties looked more “gym shirts.” He liked Ken’s better, but also got a bathrobe vibe from the coat. He said it wasn’t “on the nose,’ but it was a “bull’s eye.”

Olivia Culpo thought the fringed and embroidered crotch on Anthony’s look seemed like the Garden of Eden—is that a lesbian moment?  But she said Ken’s look was giving her life and loved the versatility of the coat.

Alyssa said Anthony’s was a traditional, sexy Beyoncé look, while Ken’s was more forward thinking. She did feel the coat wasn’t well thought out, but The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved it; Isaac noted that divas wouldn’t wear a cream coat and Georgina replied,
“Oh, they could. It’s just so f**k off, I’m onstage in a cream coat.”
Fabio kept chanting ‘Rock Rock Rock’ as he played the jukebox, and the jukebox rewarded him with a country twang. But, he’s done performance wear—for Chris Brown … which means a pair of baggy saggy pants and a sweatshirt—so he can do this, He’s going for separates, too, and will make a dress, shorts, vest combo.

Helen was also trying to stay away from country, but she also pulled what might be the short straw. And that, to her, meant dark blue sequins, in a dress with a full skirt and puffy sleeves. And of her look, she brags:
“As much as I love Fabio, I’m gonna cream him.”
Fabio sees her dress and he’s suddenly not worried at all. Edmond sees Helen’s look and wonder what her music genre was …not a good sign.

Rebecca Minkoff takes one look at Helen’s sequined number and wonders how you can tell it’s country and not pop. As for Fabio, she wondered how it would stand up against Helen’s loo; she urged him to pare down all the separates, so he can finish.

When I think of country, I think of hips swaying and having fun.

When I saw this look, I thought, ‘This is what Loretta Lynn could be buried in.’ Country Goth Funeral.

I love that’s a short … a vest … a romper …all in one.

If Helen’s is Country Funeral, Fabio’s is Carrie Underwood’s Country Picnic.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called Fabio’s look cute and snappy, and loved the proportions, but also said it was too “on the nose” and really nothing much. As for Helen, she loved the bodice but thought all the sequins made it look cheap.

Olivia Culpo loved the color on Fabio’s and the way it caught the light. She thought the dark sequins of Helen’s dress made it seem lost.

Alyssa said Fabio pulled off a country look but stayed true to his aesthetic. She felt Helen’s looked like a Renaissance Faire costume; she said it looked a like a Weird Disney Princess Gone Wrong.

Isaac dubbed Fabio’s look “country star pool party’ and said it as less performance and more tennis wear. He thought Helens look was “country star bar mitzvah” and not at all performance; he said it was a bore.
Stanley actually took to his confessional to tell us:
“Y’all don’t know, I’m really rock.”
Then he picked leather and fishnets because that’s really rock. And it’s a lot of separates…a skirt, a vest a pair of fishnet tights and a fishnet shirt; Anthony came over to warn Stanley that he promised not to do more than three pieces and he was already up to four.

Last week, for the Red-Carpet Challenge, Edmond said he was known for ruffles and would do ruffles; this week, he claimed to be known for his performance wear. Edmond? You are known for guns and pecs, honey, just do that.

Anyway, he’ll be going for unpolished pants and a rock top, but, you know, sexy. And he’s looking particularly sexy this week in his jeans and pecs-and-guns t-shirt.

Guest Mentor—I guess Anne is still out of town or recovering from the beatings she took mentoring Joshua—is designer Rebecca Minkoff, and she tells Stanley that he’s trying to do a lot, and that he needs to know what to eliminate when he runs out of time. As for Edmond, she tells him to pick a lane and keep his focus.

I think she possesses this whole rocker chick mentality. It looks a little happy… it could have been darker

Fishnets don’t make it rock, and the top and skirt are too matchy.

I’m totally loving my look but that doesn’t mean the judges will.

It’s rock’n’sex.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought Stanley’s look was contrived, and wasn’t feeling the matching skirt and shirt, and t-shirt and tights. But she loved the ease of Edmond’s look, and the open back; she said it screamed rock’n’roll.

Isaac thought Stanley’s looked like a man’s tie and would have splatted neon yellow paint on it to rock it up; he felt let down this week by Stanley. He called Edmond’s look a “dressy rock star” but loved that the black fabrics; he said it looked like expensive designer wear.

Guest judge, actress and designer, Olivia Culpo thought Stanley’s was too cute and too put together; she said it was like a cheerleader out. She called Edmond’s look fluid and wondered what it might look like without the jacker. Edmond explained that the shirt was sheer, and the model wasn’t wearing a bra. Olivia asked if that was bad, and Alyssa said,
“We can’t do nipples.”
Alyssa said Stanley’s look wasn’t risky enough, but thought it was well-made, to which Isaac said, “How hard is it to glue stripes to leather?” She felt Edmond’s was almost unisex and could work for a male or female rock star
In the Rock Face-Off, Edmond gets the high score, and Stanley is on the Bottom.

As for Pop, it’s very close, but Ken gets the win, and all the judges agree that Anthony should be safe.

In Country, Fabio ekes out the win and Helen will face-off against Stanley.

The winner, between Edmond, Ken and Fabio, is Edmond; a well-deserved win for him. The loser is clearly Helen, and she seems truly shocked by the choice.

I seemed truly ecstatic by the decision.

I was happy to see Helen go. I didn’t care for her whole competition attitude; I like when the designers just want to do their best, give it all and let the cards fall, while Helen wanted to play strategy. Now she can play it at home.

As usual Anthony gets the Line of the Night, when he says of Stanley’s multi-piece garment:
“We’re not doin’ no eight pieces with two sides and a biscuit on the challenge, Stanley.”
Anthony has won Line of the Night almost every week … except for those Howler Monkey Squeals.

I loved Rebecca Minkoff as Mentor; she seemed to really want to help, and the designers noticed that, too. Perhaps next year Anne could be traveling every week?

I admit I have a mad crush on Edmond, and kept rewinding the DVR to watch him walk away, or rock that t-shirt, or fill out those jeans. Sue me.

As for The Tents? Anthony is a shoo-in; Fabio and ken and Stanley have a good shot. That leaves My Edmond; but he nailed it this week, so maybe he’ll be on a roll and get a shot to show. If not, he can come by Casa Bob y Carlos and sit on the couch with me and we’ll watch together.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Kevin Swanson, the Kill The Gays Pastor, ranting about the Best picture Oscar winner… seriously:

“The Academy Award ceremonies this week provided the best film and best director Oscar to a violation of the worst possible sexual sin mentioned in Leviticus chapter 18. Maybe I’ll just leave it there, I don’t want to defile the ears of my listeners. But this was another milestone in the moral degradation of Hollywood and the nation itself.  What it did was it presented the ultimate sexual depravity—and, again, I don’t want anyone thinking what this is—but the ultimate sexual depravity as presented in Leviticus 18 is presented in this movie as a tender and romantic and a beautiful thing. Even saying that is just disgusting. God says, ‘Be careful, I might just bring this to you if you violate my law to the level of egregiousness contained in the moral commands in Leviticus 18.’ It’s these abominable practices that are being committed in this nation today and glorified at the highest echelons of the nation.”

Cuz a woman fell in love with a sea creature and Kevin’s brain goes right to bestiality. Of course, this is the same man who blamed female gymnast’s outfit for Larry Nassar sexually abusing them.
Seth Meyers, on the allegations that Stormy Daniels make have _____’s dick pic:

“So we are looking at the very real possibility that Donald _____ sent Stormy Daniels a dick pic. Can you even imagine? Oh, you can, and that’s why you’re making those awful noises. It would look like a flaming-hot Cheeto sitting on a Brillo pad.”

Now how am I supposed to scrub my brain of that mage?
Elizabeth Porter, Florida State Republican, because, of course, Representative, downplaying the recent activism by the students at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School:

“We’ve been told that we need to listen to the children and do what the children ask, are there any children on this floor? Are there any children making laws? Do we allow the children to tell us that we should pass a law that says ’no homework’? Or you finish high school at the age of 12 just because they want it so? No, the adults make the laws because we have the age, we has [sic] the wisdom, and we have the experience.”

Oh, you stupid, stupid woman. These ‘children’ will be voting as early as next year and I hope to everything hopeful they come gunning for your stupid, illiterate ass.
Shepard Smith, Fox New host, on _____ caving to the NRA:

“There is broad-based support for raising the gun age limit. There is a limit of 21 on handguns and they’re talking about doing it for everyone else. The President said to the kids at Parkland, ‘I’ll go strong on this, I’ll work on this age thing.’ He came up to the general public and said to the Congress, ‘The NRA has a lot of pressure on you, but not on me so much.’ And then he met with the NRA. So what happened this time is what happens every time. It’s what happened after Newtown, it’s what happened after Florida, after Pulse nightclub, it’s what happened after Las Vegas. It’s what happened when Luke Woodham, way back in the day before there was a Columbine, when Luke Woodham went shooting up the place in Pearl, Mississippi, same thing. It happens every time. The NRA gets to them, and that’s that. You can like that or not like it, but that’s the fact of what happened. That’s exactly what happened.”

I do so enjoy seeing even Fox news pundits calling out _____’s hypocrisy and the terrorism of the NRA and cowardice of the GOP.
Joe Scarborough, on Morning Joe, on _____’s Hate Speech:

“The booing is getting stronger by the day whenever he goes out there and whips up like it’s a Mussolini rally. Yes, that’s what I said. There is certainly nothing American about what Donald _____ did in Pennsylvania when he tries to turn an entire audience, whether it’s against Katy Tur or Chuck Todd and this weekend he went after Maggie Haberman. When you’re in rallies like that and you whip your supporters into a frenzy, there are real life consequences to that. Threats follow, often death threats.”

Words matter.even those that spew forth from an Illegitimate President.
Alan Cumming, whose new show Instinct premieres this week, talks about playing openly gay former CIA operative and making network TV history:

“It’s the first time on a network drama that there’s been a gay character in the leading role, [but] it’s like the fourth or fifth thing of the characteristics of this person is that he’s gay and married and a happy solid marriage. And actually, what I think is really amazing is that most of the time, especially on network TV when someone is gay, when there’s a gay character it’s like, ‘they’re gay gay gay’ and it’s all about their sexuality and usually in a negative way. But the fact that this has a character whose gayness is way down the list of things that are most important about him is a positive thing and also the fact that when you do see his same-sex life it’s in a really positive way and that’s two things I don’t think are represented enough in this country.”

I said this last week about "gay skater Adam Rippon" being a skater who is gay; and I saw it again, over at The Gay Almanac, in a post where writer Edward Albee said he was a writer who was gay and not a gay writer.
Don't limit us to being one thing.
Ellen DeGeneres, opening up about one of the most tragic losses in her life:

“My girlfriend was killed in a car accident when I was like 20 years old. And I wasn’t doing comedy, I think I was probably waitressing someplace at the time. I was living with her when she was killed. I couldn’t afford to live where we were living together and so I moved into this tiny little basement apartment … I was sleeping on a mattress on a floor and … I just thought it would be amazing if we could just pick up the phone and call up God and ask questions and get an answer. It just unfolded, I just wrote the entire thing and when I finished, I read it and I thought, ‘Oh my God, that’s hilarious. I’m going to do this on Johnny Carson and I’m going to be the first woman in the history of the show be asked to sit down.’”

Fast forward to 1986, Ellen appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, and became the first ever female comedian to be invited to sit down on Johnny’s couch after a stand-up routine based on that Phone Call to God.