Monday, January 15, 2018

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Republican, and Racist Supporter, Jim Rennaci

Jim Renacci, a Republican Congressman from Ohio is trying to move on up to the Senate and clearly thinks the way to win is to stand by the Racist-In-chief over those recent “shithole” comments.

Appearing on Fox last week, Renacci said we should judge the Fat Bastard on “what he says” because, as Renacci said:
“Well, look, I’ve said all along, the president many times says what people are thinking.”
Renacci, a businessman, says he learned a long time ago that you must be careful what you say “because people pick everything up.” But he says that _____, also a businessman, hasn’t yet learned that lesson and that’s what makes him great.

What the fuck? Renacci watches what he says because he’s a businessman but _____, a businessman who says whatever he wants is great? The Mama Grizzly Bore™ would be green with envy over that Word Salad!
“It’s difficult, and I know it’s difficult for the president, because many times you want to say what you’re thinking, but in the end, I know a lot of times he’s saying what people are thinking.”
Hey Renacci, I think you’re a dumbfuck and if anyone thinks, as the so-called president does, that Africa, a continent, not a country, along with Haiti and Nicaragua, are shithole countries, then they, and you, are as racist as the Fat Bastard. But Renacci does go on …
“Look, I always say judge the president after four years. Let’s judge the president after what we’ve done. Let’s not judge the president on what he says.”
Give him four years to destroy this country, and then judge him? As Erika Jayne said on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion:
“Get the fuck outta here.”
But here’s where it gets all kiss ass, because Renacci stepped up to defend racism, just one day after he announced his run for the Senate … at the behest of the Racist-In-Chief. And Renacci has vowed that, if elected, he will defend Trump’s agenda at all costs.

Defend racism. Defend misogyny. Defend hate. Defend white supremacy. Defend deporting children.

Ohio? Is this what you want? A _____-ster representing you? Perhaps not, because while _____’s approval ratings are historically low, in Ohio 54% of the electorate disapproves of him, and, by association, goose-stepper racist fuckmonkey Jim Renacci… the ISBL Asshat of the Week.

Just A Thought

Saturday, January 13, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

You can’t keep a cougar down … Rumer, er, rumor has it that 55-year-old Demi Moore, who never met a young man she didn’t have to have, is shacking up with 25-year-old Nick Jonas.

It’s all on the DL, and the two meet at her friend’s downtown LA loft for their good times. Angeles loft because, for now, Demi doesn’t want y’all to know. But, ALLEGEDLY, it was Demi’s 29-year-old daughter, Rumer, who told Mama Cougar she had another younger man for her, according to a source, most likely Rumer herself:
“Rumer knows Demi is attracted to younger guys, and she figured that since Nick is single and has experience with older women, he’d be up for a love connection. They hit it off — and now Demi and Nick are hooking up.”
Demi was married to 16-years-younger Ashton Kutcher before he left her for the fat younger Mila Kunis; then she hooked up with 31-year-old rocker Sean Friday, 36-year-old Pink Taco owner Harry Morton—who also dated Demi’s daughter Rumer, and 31-year-old art dealer Vito Schnabel.

Nick is Demi’s youngest, so far, because her next boyfriend just graduated from seventh grade.
Last year, two songwriters, Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, sued Taylor Swift for ALLEGEDLY ripping off the lyrics to “Shake It Off” from the 2001 3LW hit “Playas Gon’ Play.” Taylor, who loves to sue, but hates getting sued, tried to get a judge to throw the lawsuit out.

The two men say Taylor’s chorus of “Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate” was suspiciously similar to the chorus they wrote, “Playas they gonna play, and haters they gonna hate” and they wanted credit … coins … for their work.

And again, TayTay, who loves to earn her coins from suing over intellectual property is not in the mood to play play play … and her lawyers are arguing that the phrases “Players, they gonna play” and “Haters, they gonna hate” are too short to get legal protection on, and therefor they don’t belong to anybody.

Unless, you know, TayTay says she wrote them.

Swifty’s lawyers also argue that Sean and Nathan can’t monopolize the ideas of players playing and haters hating because there is only one person in the music industry capable of attempting to monopolize the act of hating, and that’s Taylor Swift.
photo 123
Paris Hilton recently got engaged to Leftovers actor Chris Zylka who ALLEGEDLY proposed with a $2 million ring.

Clearly, Paris is the one with the coins in this pairing so clearly she bought the ring, gave it to him for the proposal, and then flashed it all over social media.

But if you remember that Paris was once besties with Lindsay Lohan, who has a penchant for thievery, especially, of jewelry, it seems only fitting that Hilton has hired 24-7 security to guard her ring.

Hasn’t she heard of a safe? Doesn’t she know that Lohan is out of the country? Why didn’t she just let her fiancé buy the ring, and then, if it was stolen, you’d just have to shell out another $199 to Zale’s?

Just sayin’.
Last week the women, and men, to be fair, wore black in solidarity of women and the sexual abuse they face, the discrimination they face, and the pay inequity they face, not just in Hollywood but everywhere.

Still this is Snark, so we’ll deal with Hollywood, and Ridley Scot’s film All the Money in the World. You’ll remember it co-starred Kevin Spacey until we learned what a creeper he was to young boys. Then Ridley cut Spacey from the film and replaced him with Christopher Plummer trouble was, the film was finished, so Scott asked some of the films co-stars, Nark Wahlberg and Michelle Williams, to come back and reshoot some of their scenes with Plummer.

And of course they’d get paid for their work … and therein lies the rub.

Rumor has it that while both are equally billed in film—even though Williams is getting raves and Wahlberg is not—and both returned to film for the same number of days—Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million while Michelle Williams was given a check for … wait for it, it should really piss you off … about $80 per day, for a total of about $1,000.

Even worse, none of the other actors brought back in were paid, and even Ridley Scott, the director, wasn’t paid. But Wahlberg’s team of lawyers and agents and accounts negotiated that hefty fee.

Women in Hollywood might be wearing black every day especially given that Williams and Wahlberg are represented by the same agency and that agency worked a huge payout for their male client and basically no deal for their female client.
The New York Times recently published an op-ed entitled “Publicly, We Say #MeToo. Privately, We Have Misgivings” written by Daphne Merkin, who feels that #MeToo will lead to the end of flirting.


In France, the movement is cause for great concern because many … many women … think flirting is life …and maybe flirting is coming out of your hotel bathroom naked and asking your employee for a handy … I guess.

A collective of about 100 French women signed an open letter published in Le Monde rejecting what it sees as a new puritanism in the wake of the sexual harassment and assault scandals:
“Rape is a crime. Insistently or awkwardly hitting on someone is not.”
And there were many women of note who signed on to this nonsense, like doctors and lawyers, female politicians, even Catherine Deneuve.

Um, ladies, no one is saying that flirting is out, but they’re saying that asking for a rubdown, exposing yourself, groping a woman, touching a woman, without her consent is no longer happening.

There’s a difference between a simple bit of flirtation and whipping your dick out and asking an employee to suck it.

Last time I checked that wasn’t flirting.
Hugh Grant is going to be a dad for the fifth time at 57-years-old. This will be his third child with 35-year-old girlfriend Anna Eberstein; they already have a two-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son, but this is where it gets itchy …

Hugh had a “fleeting affair” with Tinglan Hong which resulted in a child being born in 2011; Hugh and Tinglan didn’t pan out and so then he met Anna and they had their first child in 2012.

Then Hugh and Tinglan got back together for the second half of their fleeting affair in 2013 and they had another child.

But, alas, that was over, and Hugh went back to Anna and they had a child together in 2015.
Now in 2018, he and Anna again are going to be parents.
Disney always knows how to make coins. They make a feature length cartoon and make billions from that and then turn it into a Broadway show and then a live action film; they bag tons of money for the same project.

But Disney needs to learn a very simple lesson: blackface is over.

So far, Disney and Guy Ritchie are making a live-action version of Aladdin and took some heat for casting a non-Arab Princess Jasmine and then adding a new random white character to, you know, get white people in the seats. But this is too much …

There are accusations that Disney is making up extras to look more brown. The accusations come from a background actor named Kaushal Odedra who says when he arrived on-set he noticed an awful lot of white background actors. And then, a few hours later, those same white actors were suddenly brown:
“Aladdin was the perfect time to show diversity but also be accurate. They’re being out of touch with what’s going on around them.”
But Disney has an excuse … and it’s just about the lamest nonsensical POS I have ever heard:
“Great care was taken to put together one of the largest, most diverse casts ever seen on screen. Diversity of our cast and background performers was a requirement and only in a handful of instances when it was a matter of specialty skills, safety and control (special effects rigs, stunt performers and handling of animals) were crew made up to blend in.”
Oh, so they admit to using brown people as extras but when it comes to crew and animal handlers and the like, only white folks were available?

Try again Disney. When you making a film set in the Middle East about Middle Eastern people, why not, oh I don’t know, cast Middle Eastern actors in the parts. Except then the fear is that white people wouldn’t see the film and so there’s be fewer coins to be had.

Shame on you, Mouse House.
Tonya Harding Is back y’all, and why we’re suddenly celebrating this criminal is beyond me.

But she’s the topic of a new film and so she’s being interviewed by everyone everywhere, though maybe some aren’t thrilled by the idea.

Like Piers Morgan of Good Morning Britain who wasn’t afraid to remind everyone that it’s really Nancy “WHYYYYYYYYY” Kerrigan who is the victim.

Piers kept trying to get Tonya to admit she was involved in the 1994 pipe attack on Nancy. Tonya’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly said she knew all along of the conspiracy to take down Nancy and even Tonya said in her 2008 autobiography that she wanted to tell authorities about the pending assault but didn’t because Jeff threatened her life.

Still, Piers was having none of it:
“Maybe it suits you to play the victim. But I think the victim in all this wasn’t you. It was Nancy Kerrigan who had her Olympic dream shattered.”
But Tonya is delusional and has been playing the victim card for decades, so she will never admit that she planned it, knew about it, and wanted it done.

Girl, bye.
We haven’t heard from Kanye in a while, not that I’m complaining, but here he is again, going after people for their fashion sense, even if he’s married to the perpetrator.

Apparently, Kim Kardastrophe revealed that she received an email from her husband … they don’t actually speak? … in which he put her on blast for her sunglasses:
“[Kanye] sent me a whole email like, ‘You cannot wear big glasses anymore. It’s all about tiny little glasses.’”
And instantly she was in tiny glasses because, you know, what Kanye says ….

Clearly, because now all the Kardastrophes are wearing tiny glasses like the Tiny Man ordered.

Friday, January 12, 2018

PR All-St★rs 6 Ep 2: Designers In Distress

Uh oh! Shock! Alyssa Milano is in the workroom! Really? As if the designtestants didn’t know they’d be meeting her for the next challenge; give me real surprises, PR!

Anyway, Allyssa’s in the workroom, with mannequins toppled over, and caution tape everywhere and garbage cans, so clearly this is going to be another Construction Site Unconventional Challenge; but then the PR surprises me!

After spraying them with a fire extinguisher, for what reason I do not know, Alyssa says that this week’s challenge is to create a distressed look, following a “new trend in fashion” … or a reboot of an old trend if you remember distressed denim in the 90s.

The designtestants will have $200 and one day to create “post-apocalyptic fashion” by using at least two distressing techniques—blowtorches, knives, sanders, fake blood, bleach etc.—and they must create a story as to why their model survived the apocalypse.

Let’s rip, before the zombies arrive …
AMANDA her look was a cool shredded overcoat, but the jumpsuit underneath was so ill-fitting that Carlos thought it was a man modeling since the crotch seemed to be bulging. I, however, got Carol Burnett Show skit costume from it.

CANDICE I thought she’d rock this, but what she gave was a Beetlejuice reboot with a female star.

EDMOND His look was sexy and chic, but I didn’t get distressed … except at the idea he may be going home if he doesn’t listen and step it up. Black doesn’t show distressing very well, people!

FABIO his look gave me a cruise ship vibe, but not Poseidon Adventure, but more Kathie Lee Gifford Carnival Cruisewear zebra.

HELEN It was ethereal and spectral, though it mostly looked dirty and not entirely distressed. And the hair was giving me Cruella DeVil vibes.

JOSH Bullseye? Howsabout totally missed the mark.

KEN His look was beautiful, but it looked like a bride had wandered through a crime scene.

KIMBERLY She also suffered from the black don’t show distress mess. And does a rope bra say distressed? I don’t think so.

MELISSA She created an 80s club look with a garbage bag coat. The only distressing thing about it was how boring it was.
Blowtorch, charcoal, spray-paint
He opts to go with what he sees as his strengths; create a beautiful ruffled gown and then figure out how to distress it. It’s the exact same color as the dress Edmond made last week that the judges raved so maybe Stanley thought that would help.

But he’s so intent on making the gown beautiful—Anne Fulenwider, who is no Tim Gunn, calls it a pretty prom dress—that he doesn’t begin the distressing until the last moment.

I love the color, I love the concept.

I do like some of the burned edges, but is it enough?

He tells the judges his model went to the opera and was caught in a fire. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the burning technique, and the color, but thinks the top looks cheap; she dubs it an eBay Prom dress … ouch!  Guest judge, Orange is the New Black actress Danielle Brooks says it still looks dated, and kinda perfect, and says Stanley didn’t push it far enough. Alyssa loves the burned edges and the color, but also wishes he ‘d taken it farther. Isaac hates the color, though he likes the fragility of the netting; he ends up calling it swamp thing or a quinceañera apocalypse, neither of which is good.
Grater, utility knife
I like Kelly, I do, but her design sense seems to be trashy … and then more trashy; girl seriously needs an edit button.

Her story is something about her girl being an ice queen but started dancing so much she set the world on fire, and to Kelly that means fur and glitter and netting … and sequined ear muffs.

When Anne saw it, her suggestion was to set it on fire; she may have meant torch the mess and start over, but Kelly took it to mean, burn the edges of the netting.

I feel like I completely nailed it.

It looks like a Vegas chorus girl who got too close to the pyrotechnics in one of those $1.99 all you can eat buffet casinos way off the strip.

Isaac loved her story, and suggested they have lunch someday, but wasn’t a fan of the look; he liked the “funny” embroidery on the bodice but thought that fishnets over fishnets gets lost and Kelly needs a 12 Step Program for Over Accessorizing. Danelle Brooks loved the ear muffs and the distressed shoes, but nothing about the look itself. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said it was all too much and warned that making so many accessories doesn’t help the outfit; she dubbed it Bad Burning Man.
Charcoal, grater
Her apocalyptic girl is a firefighter … huh? But, you know, to make it distressed and end-of-days chic the pants will have a train and she’ll write the words “Detroit Fire Department” on the back, though she clearly didn’t plan that very well because it turn out “Det Fire Dept.”
Had she listened to Anne, who told her it would take the look into costume, she might have been onto something.

I’m feeling confident because it’s so different than the others.

The pants are interesting, though they just look like they’re too long, but the rest is a ‘Meh’ from me.

Isaac loves the idea of pants with a train calling it “kooky” and “great. Alyssa says the distressing on the top is cool, but the bottom of the pants look like they went through a lawn mower. Danielle Brooks loves the pants and the one glove, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ sees no design and thinks it looks like it comes from Party City …on the Fire Sale rack?
Blowtorch, fake blood, grater
Girl loves some architecture and wants to create a 3D look that is worn by a woman in 2180, in Galaxy 51 and the dress is a map to get the key. The key to what, you ask? Perhaps the key to understanding Merline’s story.

And it might be a short story, because even though she congratulated Merline on last week’s win, Anne dubs this a basic shift dress.

I made sure my look is polished.

I thought black wasn’t a good choice for a fabric you were going to burn.

Isaac called it fabulous and chic, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the sharp lines—Merline listened to GC after last week—though she thought the shoulders looked unfinished. Danielle Brooks loved the structure of the piece and the peek-a-boo burned spot. Alyssa called the 3D effect inspirational.
Charcoal, blowtorch
You get the feeling Anthony is going down—and not in a way he’d like—because he doesn’t get the distressing aspect and because he’s afraid he’ll set himself on fire. He starts with a gorgeous gown idea and then he’ll figure out how to torture it … hopefully.

Anne likes what she sees, but thinks Anthony needs to listen to his story and follow that toward the distress signal, which may or may not be him going home.

She is handling this tattered abused gown.

It is a beautiful gown, put through the wringer, so Anthony clearly figured it out.

Anthony said his girl was a princess from the Gambia who was at the MET Gala, and suddenly the world ended, and her dress caught on fire. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it “elegant and balanced” though she would have hated the print had Anthony not torched it and drawn on it. Danielle Brooks loved the sexiness of it, while Alyssa thought his distressing looked a part of his design and not an afterthought. Isaac called it “distressed and fresh as a daisy” but was worried that Anthony blew it out of the water and had no idea he’d done so.
Blowtorch, fake blood, grater
Ari’s dress was for a fire goddess, and then hid it under a coat for the big reveal. Anne worried that she was being too ambitious and had way too much work to get done, but Ari doesn’t seem to play games and just gets down to business.

 Really love how the gown flows and flutters.

I liked the gown better than the coat, and loved the burned pieces; really distressing.

After saying her girl survived a massive tectonic plate shift and volcano eruptions, The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said she loved the “degrading” effect on the gown. Isaac also called it fabulous, but thinks the burning may have gone on too long. Alyssa thought the blowtorched pieces looked like lace.
Anthony was clearly the winner, even though he was the most surprised by the call, and that leaves us with Kelly and Stanley on the Bottom. I knew Stanley was done because he couldn’t wrap his head around ruining a gown, but then Kelly got the boot for her excessiveness.

The judges were right, it was a good show—Isaac calls it “probably the best runway we’ve seen”—but, while I liked the idea of distressing, everyone did some form of burning, and that annoyed me. I wanted someone to get really creative and take their gown into the street and have an Uptown bus run over it; or toss it in a flighty gutter. Bring it people. Don’t bore Isaac? Don’t bore me!

That said, maybe Isaac will be The New Nina!

I giggled when Anthony thought all the product in his hair would catch fire because I think that of my own hair at times:
“Now listen, I have enough chemical in my hair to wipe out a nation.”
Agent Anthony?

And I think Ken summed up how most of them felt about the challenge:
“We make beautiful things, not tear them apart.”
Everyone seemed to struggle with that idea, at least the most talented designers …. Josh? A bullseye? How literal.

And seriously, I guess no designers are Mensa members since most had a time trying to say “post-apocalyptic.” Post-apoca-lipstick?

And Anne nearly started a fire in the workroom after setting Helen’s hot wood cutter onto a table! And where did the paintballs come from, and the paintball room, and why was only Josh using them. That was a smart move for him.

Then it got weird when Anne praised the designers and says if she really likes the winning design she’ll put it in Marie Claire. Cool, but … sorry Anthony, she clearly didn’t’ like any finished look as they never appeared in the magazine.

Now for the bad news … I’m really not too invested in any of these designers. I mean, I think Edmond’s adorable, Anthony is funny, Ken and Hellen will bitch out at some point. But none of them are jumping off the screen at me as far as who I think should show at The Tents.
Hopefully that’ll change because ….

WHAT did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Adam Schiff, Democratic congressman on the House Intelligence Committee, on the investigation into the Clinton Foundation:

“It’s not because there is some new evidence that has come to light. It’s because they’re being badgered by the White House to do it. You simply cannot explain it, I think, any other way.”

Wait, so the foundation with the A-ratings is being investigated at the behest of the guy who’s charitable foundation was shut down?
That’s our _____!
Ellen DeGeneres, on Eric _____’s assertion that she is part of the “Deep State” along with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton:

“Have you heard of the Deep State, anybody? I hadn’t either. I found out Deep State is supposed to be a group of people they believe are trying to undermine Donald _____. Which is ridiculous because no one has undermined Donald _____ more than Donald _____. I am sorry to disappoint you. I am not part of the Deep State. Even if somebody wanted me to be involved I don’t have that kind of time. I’ve got my gay agenda meetings on Mondays. I’ve got, on Wednesday Beyoncé and I host an Illuminati brunch. And then Portia and I on the weekends are desperately trying to have a baby, so I can’t. I don’t have time.”

I can vouch for Ellen, I see her at the Gay Agenda meetings all the time!
Sarah Huckleberry Sanders, presidential liar, on anyone who says _____ is mentally unfit:

“Look, I think it’s absolutely insane to think all of these individuals, reporters and others, who suddenly have a medical degree and think that they can diagnose somebody, many times who they’ve never even had a conversation with. It’s absolutely outrageous to make these types of accusations, and it’s simply untrue, and it’s sad that people are going and making these desperate attempts to attack the president. What I think is really mentally unstable is people that don’t see the positive impact that this president is having on the country. The economy is booming, we’re crushing ISIS, day after day things are getting better for Americans all over this country. And I think it’s really sad that these people don’t see that, and that they’re not celebrating and trying to join in the president’s efforts to turn our country around.”

The economy, right now, is thanks to Obama, and I don’t see ISIS being crushed, and I don’t see things getting better every day.
I see hate, vile hate, and racism coming from the top and trickling down to minions like SHS.
I’ll celebrate when the Fat Bastard is out of office and SHS is out of a job and back to asking me if I’d like fries with that.
Shepard Smith, Fox News most sane pundit, on _____’s announcement that he wants to overhaul the “very unfair” libel laws:

“For clarity, because we’re in the position to report facts here, all of that about libel laws—that was just a word salad of nothingness, because none of that means anything, except ‘look over here’. He couldn’t change the libel laws if he wanted to change the libel laws, he couldn’t change ’em if he got the Congress in there. These are state laws. He’s not a dictator. He’s not a king. He can’t change the libel laws. That’s preposterous.”

He’s a dick, not a dictator, and just a whiny little dick at that.
Alan Cumming, set to become network television’s first gay lead character in an hour-long drama on CBS’s Instinct, on the _____ administration’s attacks on LGBT people:

“I applaud everyone at CBS for having the courage to put that (Instinct) on, in the climate that might not be the best time to do it. The President is actively condoning—by his silence—violence, and persecution against the LGBT community.”

Silence = Death.
And that’s what we get from this president … for now.
Linda Harvey, Christian loon, on the need to “re-horrify” Americans about The Gays:

“So many of these groups are predators. I believe that the homosexual clubs in schools are just red flags for predators. I think that they exist there as an audience to continue to fast track kids into the lifestyle, network with adults—I mean, who knows what goes on there. How do we re-horrify people about the sin of homosexuality? People are becoming so comfortable with this, even people on our side. We need to re-horrify them.”

Actually, Linda, you re-horrifying people to your so-called faith, because if faith is used to influence hate against anyone, then your faith is not in God because She would be so pissed at you right now.
Ryan Murphy, creator of American Horror Story, Glee, American Crime, Scream Queens and the upcoming Pose, on being beaten with a belt by his father when he came out as gay:

That happened to me. That was my coming-out experience with my father. [Now] I can’t believe my life and can’t believe that things have changed so radically in my lifetime. If you asked me then if I would be allowed to be married and have children like you, I never would have believed it.”

We’ve come a long way, but, as evidenced by some of these other quotes, we know that the march goes on …
Sebastian Gorka, former _____ senior advisor, seeming to dispute the White House claim that no one talked with Michael Wolff:

“Unless we had a preexisting relationship, I didn’t trust any journalist. And if you came from an outlet that belonged to what President _____ calls #FakeNews, I really wasn’t interested in becoming your friend. To those few persistent journalists from news organs like the Washington Post who wouldn’t give up, I was upfront: Sorry, I don’t do ‘deep background’ and I’m using my phone to record this conversation. As a result, you’d never see Jim Acosta coming out of my office or Maggie Haberman buying me an espresso at Peet’s around the corner from the West Wing.  So, when I met Michael Wolff in Reince Priebus’ office, where he was waiting to talk to Steve Bannon, and after I had been told to also speak to him for his book, my attitude was polite but firm: ‘Thanks but no thanks.’ Our brief encounter reinforced my gut feeling that this oleaginous scribe had no interest in being fair and unbiased.”

And yet Wolff was in the White House with Priebus and Bannon and others so … yeah, his story is true.